Aw, Professor

 In honor of small universities with more vice presidents than a person has fingers.

 In honor of people -- like me -- who could not decide what to be when they grow up.

In honor of the transition from university to degree mill.

 In honor of naysayers.

In honor of budgetary pain that is distributed indiscriminately.

 In honor of misplaced measures.

  In honor of the hollowing-out of academic communication, in the name of branding.